The Thing - Phil Harris

Billboard Magazine's #1 Single Dec. 2 - Dec. 15

A funny little song by Phil Harris:



Lyrics:

While I was walking down the beach one bright and sunny day,
I saw a great big wooden box a-floating in the bay.
I pulled it in and opened it up and much to my surprise,
Ooh, I discovered a * * * right before my eyes.
Ooh, I discovered a * * * right before my eyes.

I picked it up and ran to town as happy as a king.
I took it to a guy I knew who'd buy 'most anything.
But this is what he hollered at me as I walked in his shop:
"Ooh, get out of here with that * * * before I call a cop!
Ooh, get out of here with that * * * before I call a cop!"

I turned around and got right out, a-running for my life.
And then I took it home with me to give it to my wife.
But this is what she hollered at me as I walked in the door:
"Ooh, get out of here with that * * * and don't come back no more!
Ooh, get out of here with that * * * and don't come back no more!"

I wandered all around the town until I chanced to meet
A hobo who was looking for a handout on the street.
He said he'd take 'most any old thing. He was a desperate man.
But when I showed him the * * *, he turned around and ran.
Ooh, when I showed him the * * *, he turned around and ran.

I wandered on for many years, a victim of my fate,
Until one day I came upon Saint Peter at the Gate.
And when I tried to take it inside, he told me where to go:
"Get out of here with that * * *, and take it down below!
Oh, get out of here with that * * *, and take it down below!"

The moral of this story is if you're out on the beach
And you should see a great big box and it's within your reach,
Don't ever stop and open it up. That's my advice to you.
'Cause you'll never get rid of the * * *, no matter what you do.
Oh, you'll never get rid of the * * *, no matter what you do.

Download The Thing at Amazon.com